You are important enough to have the right to pick and choose who you want to talk to.No one can force you to talk to them and I don’t want you wasting precious time with meaningless chitchat.The experience is not fundamentally different than dating someone without a mental illness, but there are issues that are more likely to arise.By understanding these issues and knowing how to respond, you can support the man you love without threatening the relationship or your emotional wellbeing.It’s not the quantity just the quality and while we think we should give everyone a chance under the You meet a stranger, they seem nice and they are somewhat attractive.When you are trying to get a date or get laid you must never lose sight of why you are talking to strangers in the first place. To feel not only inadequate for the person you’ve given your love to, but that they can so easily discard your feelings for the sake of a fling with someone else, is beyond hurtful. These are not just feelings that go away, these are insecurities that are often embedded in our emotional makeup for some time.

I want to be that woman, but I’m not that woman yet. And that journey starts with this blog…with this moment of honesty that will hopefully be followed by lots more moments of honesty as I stop frantically searching for the silver lining of every situation and instead just learn to embrace the ugliness, the doubt, the uncertainty, the fear…as all a part of the journey. I personally think it’s a lot braver to talk about our doubts and fears instead of acting like everything’s perfect. It lends itself to loneliness and self doubt and fear.

So what if this woman has six kids and it turns you off, it’s better to dodge a bullet than treat a wound.

I have never had a problem meeting men, which is likely the case for most singles.

I will hand them their share of the blame, but I’ll take my share, too. “You just need more makeup, a thigh gap, more self love! “You just need more faith,” the Christian world says judgmentally. Just not in the cards for me.) I want with every single fiber of my being to be one of those self-assured, confident, bold women of God who knows exactly who she is in Christ and walks in the freedom of knowing how loved she is, how precious she is, how validated she is. And that’s not to say we should walk around like Eeyore all the time, feeling sorry for ourselves and playing the victim of our lives. But neither should we walk around like Tigger all the time…springing when we feel like sighing. Not dodging it or covering it up or glossing over it to make it look prettier and more pleasing so you can prop it up in the corner and not have to deal with it.

And in doing that, my friends, I feel I have done you a disservice. It’s recently been called to my attention that I use positivity as a defense mechanism. That my humanity and my imperfections were a turnoff to him. I can’t blame all of my self doubts on men, though. That’s a refusal to take responsibility for my own life and choices and attitudes and self image, and I won’t do that. “You’re too ugly.” “You’re too fat.” “You have a gap in your teeth.” “You look old.” “You’ve done too many bad things in your life and you don’t deserve to ever find love.” “God has forgotten you.” “It’s so easy for everyone else and so difficult for you.” “You’re meant to wander the earth alone forever.” “You will always be on the outside, looking in.” And on and on and on, like a broken record. (But I don’t and doubt I will ever have a thigh gap. Part of being the heroine of your own life is accepting the bad with the good.