They have taken out my garbage, carried my luggage, taken my car for an oil change, cooked me dinner, talked about my day at work and brought me breakfast in bed.I have found that men who have been married are a bit more structured and familiar with the little things.Some even cringe at the idea of dating a divorced man. Think about these things first and make sure you know what you are getting when dating a divorced man. Before even thinking about dating a divorced man, first know where the divorce really stands. [Read: 10 signs a past relationship is holding you from a better future] #2 You may have to be discreet for a while. In fact, many people find happy endings after a couple *or more* divorces.They’d been together for 10 years, married for two. James and I have our ups and our downs in what could be called “still the honeymoon phase.” And many of them, frankly, have to do with how he used to be married to someone else. There’s some immediate satisfaction of knowing, of course. I’m sorry to say it, but this one’s a real lose/lose. The recently divorced man is, with little exception, the recently traumatized man.They’d met young, in their early 20s, and had decided, two months before James and I met, to divorce. James had been the one to request the divorce; his wife had been devastated by his decision. There’s not a week that goes by that I don’t think either A) I’m thrilled he’s got that experience under his belt, or B) Why god, did I have to fall in love with a guy with an ex-wife? But beyond that, it’s just a device with which to torture yourself. If he dumped her, you think, “What’s to stop him from dumping me? You’re destined to wonder – however briefly – how much of him is still in love with her. And if you’re the one who winds up with him, it will fall upon you to help him cope. A man with a now-defunct marriage under his belt has learned a few things about himself, about what he has to work on, about what he can and cannot handle. And yet, no matter how many times you try to bring up where this is going, you get a shrug of the shoulders and "let's just keep having fun." Blech. He already knows how to run errands after work, gets his kids off to school with a proper lunch, and even cleans before you come over. And now for the good ones, because yes, they really are out there. Best part: he isn't afraid to roll up his sleeves to help. This guy can actually talk about what went wrong—and why—and has a better understanding than most that relationships require oh, ya know, having real communication.
He probably expects you to be discreet about your relationship for a while. With being discreet comes social media restrictions. If he starts drinking a little too much and talking about how so-and-so cuckolded him.. On the opposite end of the spectrum, this guy is clearly still pining for his wife. Sure, it might sound like an, err, interesting time (and there's nothing wrong with straight sex now and again), but this guy has wayyy too much undealt-with emotional baggage. Back in the day, jumping into the dating waters post-divorce wasn't always the easiest (and usually involved one too many awkward set-ups from friends). But with the onslaught of dating apps, it's now all too easy (seriously, just swipe right..left). That one who, after three dates, asks you to pick up some toilet paper, plants his feet on you for a foot rub, and immediately starts slipping into the same homey habits he had with his ex. Sorry, but he can only fit you in every other Tuesday because his life is just so. Discretion doesn’t just come mean hidden from public. Simply don’t advertise your relationship on social media just yet, especially if the divorce proceedings started.Unless you want to be portrayed as the home-wrecker.